Silent Symphony (◡‿◡✿) ॢ

Here i write this in my childhood summer house bed, crooked in thought and numbed on my side. i hold.. yet let the keys play out throughout the day, as this frozen spit stumbling down my throat hardly accepts what is this reality as i grow. my love who gave me the will to live just broke up with me, but i guess that is fine as my crumbling doubts manifested this the whole time. i think im in love with everyone yet its just my anxious attachment style hanging on for dear life onto the people who bring me joy. im trying to figure out whether i should make art about society, the world, love, loss and absense or just pure mental health encompassing everything...cus i do feel like a shitty person not being as involved with the world..i just sometimes forget to shower for days as im trying to be somewhat alive...yet obnoxiously have every resource around me . its wild to see everyone around me fade..this showing all i got is myself and fuck im four years old. everyones dying or leaving and i truly dont accept this. I do realize i exist in my own space and the moment the door is open to new worlds i recognize the gap in my heart. I wonder if i create from the aching of my heart...if i do, its only the beginning